The Sword of Us

I know how you suffer and struggle, how your mind is an exploding universal truth, how you flutter about in sequence, reorganizing and rearranging the very essence of self—a byproduct of thought. Your complexity is amazing and stunningly beautiful, encapsulating what is and what is not, intermingled in a dance of delight and horror. I see…

Depression and Autism

Today I went through many letters and poems from my childhood. I came across a few poignant pieces that signify how I related to my world during my youth. I find these old writings telling of my journey. The words validate a young girl who didn’t understand why she seemed so different from many of…

Doing Our Best

  When I freak out I cry. I really cry. I wail straight from the gut of my soul. I do that sobbing thing that you see in those well-acted movies that makes you want to sob too or run away super fast. Case in point, last night I was replaying those messages of having…

Flat Line and Hooters

Some kind woman (I am assuming) wrote an informative and well-meaning comment on my other blog, Everyday Aspergers, about rapid cycling bipolar. After that I spent an hour being triggered by thoughts of yet another feasible diagnosis, and that’s likely why I am still braless with teeth not brushed, obsessively blogging. I asked my partner Dave,…

About Sam

Whenever I see the word “About” I hear the Hokey Pokey in my mind… and turn yourself around…that’s what it’s all about! So now I am in a circle putting my right hand in and my right hand out. Dang visual memory and dang connection to song lyrics. Tis my life. Bouncing random words with…

The Canoe Factor

The last time I was upset with my boyfriend David, I bought a canoe. Here’s a bit of what the timeline looked like: Surfed Internet as source of self-soothing, aka stimming. Craigslist further assists in stimming pursuit. (a public forum with job openings, miscellaneous stuff for sale, discussion forums, etc.) Found photo of awesome canoe—in…