(Image of stick figure in black paint holding up red empty heart with the words: Trauma is the chronic disruption of connectedness. A quote by Stephen Porges. Original posting of image by Beacon Services in UK.)
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The global crisis of the Covid-19 pandemic comes with many challenges and tragic losses. The continual changes and time alone brings up trauma and too much thinking — ruminating. Under the face masks and bandanas and with the turned backs, I can no longer see people smile. Taking a hike through the evergreen nature trails, now includes cautious stares and glares, measuring my proximity. It seems everyone is holding their breath, if only a second longer. Everyone watching and wondering. Palpable contemplation. It’s always been difficult to gauge a stranger’s expressions. Now it’s far worse. No smiles. Just eyes that sometimes seem empty. Laughter that seems uninvited and out of place. A hope for those kind eyes that twinkle back .. . tinged-green, sparkling blue, dark brown with ebony core. For an instant, a brief close of lids — an indication of connection. The thought of time traveling crosses my mind. I miss the old ways, seemingly insignificant customs, then. And this ‘then,’ seems eons ago. Not some hopscotch of a season. The forest fires, here in the west, have brought more gloom, and the unhealthy air. I worry for the birds and all the world’s creatures. Thankful for the firefighters; thinking of their families, thinking on all the essential workers. The past protests turned to violent riots, in Portland and Seattle, to the east and west, bring deep discomfort. A heart tugged to the floor. The state of our nation, the division in America, disheartening, to say the least. The teachers’ empty school rooms; the college freshman attending class from childhood bedroom. The remote worker, saving gas, missing happy hour. I think back to the 1946 book by Viktor Frankl, ‘Man’s Search for Meaning.’ I recognize the strength of human beings. I recognize the importance of keeping in touch with other individuals, whatever that might look like. Even if it’s sharing a simple message. ~ Samantha Craft, 9.2020
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Everyday Autistic 